Vol 1, Issue 1

Monday, July 31, 2006

  Inane Asylum continued ...

    Thanks again for allowing me to take you on this tour. I wish I could stay and answer your questions, but I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date. No time to say hello, goodbye, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.”

    And with that, he was off like a flash, leaving us bewildered, but full of information.

    Wow! If I ever get back to Washington D.C., I’m going to take the Hawker’s tour again. He did a fantastic job! Who says that Congress has depth? It’s got to be one of the most absurd, pointless, silly institutions of all times. And to top that, it actually is a three-ring circus, featuring elephants, donkeys and a vast array of creatures more suited to appear in Barnum and Bailey’s side shows… if the pay and perks were sufficient, like the top-notch free medical coverage and great retirement benefits that congresspersons receive.

PTFE: The Slick Invention That Protects Politicians and Corporate Executives

By Bernard Levy

    In 1938, at the duPont Jackson Laboratory in New Jersey, Dr. Roy J. Plunkett accidentally discovered Teflon®-polytetrafluoroethylene (PTFE)-while experimenting with gases related to duPont's Freon®. An experiment using a compressed sample of tetrafluoroethylene polymerized spontaneously into a white, waxy solid.

    Horneus Erasmus Pentafly, an observer in the lab, wrote in his diary, "All of a sudden, a halo formed over Plunkett's head, and several 'Eurekas' were heard." Pentafly's colorful commentary aside, PTFE is considered the most slippery material in existence and recognized worldwide for its superior non-stick properties as a coating on cookware and a soil and stain repellant for textile products. Dr. Plunkett has been inducted into the National Inventors' Hall of Fame, joining Thomas Edison.

    Caveat: Teflon® watchdoggers advise people about its dangers. In humans, PTFE causes flu-like symptoms; in birds, it kills. The dangerous fumes are only released when PTFE-coated products are heated to extremely high temperatures, but those temperatures may occur in some instances below 300°F.

    It has been a closely guarded secret that PTFE is being used to insulate politicians and corporate executives from legislative and financial investigations and lawsuits. PTFE products have minimized fines and punishment resulting from corruption and, in some cases, have provided benefits to wrong-doers.

Continued ...

“Go on with the next verse,” the Gryphon repeated: “it begins ‘I passed by his garden.’”
Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:
“I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie:
The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
While the Panther received knife and fork with
a growl,
And concluded the banquet by----“

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

    We left Alice in August 2003 when she visited Washington, D.C. for the first time.

    Naïve, she tried to pick up a $20 bill on a sidewalk and fell down a roving manhole where she encountered a rabbit wearing a hat with the sign, “Hare-Brained Harry,” and a nameless pig with an immense pork belly.

    Now on her second visit, she observed another $20 bill: “I’m not falling for that again,” she muttered and again was approached by a Spouting Sigamore, a governmental creature dressed to the “nines,” three quarters on the take and one quarter on the give. Ignoring him, she then spied an art exhibit sign on a building not marked on her Washington D.C. map.

    “This can’t be another manhole. It looks safe enough. I think I’ll go in.”

    She entered an immense hall and heard voices. When persons appeared, there again were Hare-Brained Harry and the pig, this time with a pork barrel covering his immense pork belly. They were talking loudly with a man the pig called “Cheney-Baby” and the rabbit called “Dicky-Boy.”

    She turned to go but the front door had vanished. Harry and the pig saw her and, dragging Dicky-Boy or Cheney-Baby (whichever you prefer), hurried to obtain her opinion.

    In the rush, Dicky-Boy dropped his beloved 28-gauge shotgun. Hitting the floor, it discharged its contents without personal injury, birdshot peppering a painting and adding texture.

 

 

Continued ...